Link to Season 10

Between holding on tight and letting go

Season 9 over

Whoa...fell asleep at the switch. Um, Season 9 is now finished. May be a Season 10. Not sure yet.

I guess for some closing remarks, I have a few months left on my contract. I was going to stay at my school another year, but they weren't granted funding by city hall. I considered transferring to another school, but think I'll let the contract end and take a break - see family/friends.

I've been watching a lot of debates by Dawkins, Krause, the late Hitchens... I used to want to be a part of these debates, but I can't get past the problem of semantics and their clumsy way of describing our already clumsy (or cloudy) perspective of "reality". I don't think I have the energy to argue about anything anymore and I don't care about my epiphanies of late, either. Maybe this will change in time. But for now, I'm just tired....

Until next season...which I feel pretty sure will come soon. But don't expect too much.  ;)

I'm thirty-seven! I'm not old!

Ahh...I can finally quote this Monty Python line and actually mean it! Ha! Ha! But good for one year only...

Dreams of a home

I'm looking at houses for sale online. I'm so immersed in it, I forget where I am. I feel like I'm there...in Tacoma, in Seattle, in Bellingham.

Then it's time to go. I zoom out of my screen, come out of my trance and back into the coffee shop I'm sitting in...in Korea.

I've been informed that my school can only keep me for one more year after my current contract. I estimate that I'll walk out of here with a lump sum of cash and dividend income that would have been enough for a downpayment and mortgage payments for the place I was looking at in 2012. But it's not enough for any place I see these days.

I don't know. Maybe it won't happen. And maybe I can do better without a house. If I did get a house now and was able to get a job that covered the mortgage, I think I'd only be working my tail off just to pay off the mortgage...with barely enough working years to pay it off before retiring. And then what do I live on?

Naw...maybe I'm better off the way I'm doing things now; no mortgage, no rent, and using my spare savings for investment income with virtually no overhead costs. A new dream of sorts. Yes...

Just read... / Currently reading... etc.

Just read...

 

Currently reading...

Still reading...

 

Finished the main two books.                             This one will take a while...

Truish

As true as one deceives themselves in believing to be true.

Gold is money?

I feel like I've already written a post with this title, but I can’t find it. Maybe I just talked about the idea with a friend. Well, if I ever find that I did write a post with this title, I’ll change this post’s title to “Mountain of gold”.

Ok, so like, I keep reading user comments online about how if the economy goes belly up (and/or if the dollar collapses) they’re going to be ready with gold, food/water storage and ammunition (with guns, I presume). ...And I just wonder how that will play out.

I picture this guy sitting in a lawn chair, atop a big pile of gold. He’s got a big machine gun and belts of ammunition hanging off of him (with another pile of ammunition next to the pile of gold). Then behind those two piles (of gold and ammunition, respectively), there is a large storage unit with piles of food and water (in bottles).

What does he need the food and water for? Well, obviously he needs to eat and drink. What’s the ammunition for? To protect the food and water, and his pile of gold. What’s the gold for? Umm...good question. We’ll play out this scenario and see.

So let’s say some marauders come and try to take his gold. The guy shoots ‘em dead and, yeah. He keeps his gold and food/water. Fine. Then, more marauders come, try to take his stuff, and they’re gunned down. Ok.

But over time, the guy starts to run low on ammunition, and he’s had to keep eating and drinking to stay alive, so his food and water are running low. So he has to go out and buy more ammo and food and water. What does he use to buy these things? Gold. Because gold is money.

Ok, so he buys more ammunition, food, and water, but now has less gold. Rinse and repeat this cycle a few times and pretty soon, he’s low on everything; food/water, ammunition, and gold (which begs the question why he’s putting in such effort to protect something which only gets depleted by the very means to protect it, but nevermind that).

It’s clear enough how he replaces the food, water, and ammunition, but how does he replace the gold that he’s spent?

Currently, we use money (paper money) to buy gold, but if gold is money, then…I guess he’d use gold to buy more...gold. Though...not sure how that solves his diminishing supply.

Well, that’s where I was going to end this silly scenario, but since people might think about the traditional means of getting more gold - by stealing it – I’ll close with, ok, fine, but idea there is that the gold (er...money) has to move in order to have any value. Just sitting on it won’t help you.

Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn

Not sure if anyone's noticed but these three planets have been very visible for the past few weeks with the naked eye, especially Mars and Jupiter. Mars is the closest it's been...since 2007, I think it was. And I don't know why, but when I look up at the planets, I don't feel small and insignificant like I used to when I looked up into space. Somehow, the fact that I can see them, especially Mars, I feel like it's right there. Or right here. And I feel connected to it, like I'm just as much there as it is here.

I don't mean it in a mystical way. I'm not sure. It's just a feeling. It's like when I see a mountain off in the distance. It's far away, and if I tried to walk towards, it, it would seem far. And yet, it's right there. I can see it.

"Knowledge and Wisdom" with age...

I'm finding my feelings and perceptions are changing as I get older. But I'm unable to associate it with knowledge or wisdom. It's just a change of perception for the time of my life that I'm in. It'll change more as I get older...but I won't be smarter.

The pike's lesson to the wart was right, especially the part on love. It's a trick of the brain...and you're supposed to fall for it.

Not tired

I wasn't sure what to call this post. Wanted to title it "Insomnia" or "Sleepless", but that wouldn't be right. I've been sleeping well...a little too well, really (at least on the days I don't work). But sleeping well causes me not to be tired the next night.

But "Not tired" isn't a good title, either, because my waking hours are kind of exhausting me. Not work. Work's fine. After work. I...well, let me just say what I've been doing outside working hours, and I'll make note of what things are making me tired and what things are making me...not tired.

I'm slowly cleaning my room, bit by bit. It's a big mess (and thinking of cleaning it makes me very tired) though...if I try to do it all at once, it may not take that long, but then it'll just go back to the way it was really quickly. So I'm trying to build small habits that will keep it clean...just taking a little bit out each time I leave my apartment. This way, I don't get tired.

I'm studying how to do different types of investments. I said in a couple earlier posts that I was dinking around with call options...and on that note, I'll say one of them went well and the other, not as well, but not terrible. I could probably get used to doing these, but the commission fees for these transactions are too much for the small amount of cash I'm working with. I've looked at other online brokers who have lower fees, but still require (due to recent regulations) fairly high minimum balances. Also been looking at other kinds of options trading and futures trading. But again, the minimum cash you need is more than I want to throw around (...or away).

Did reading that just make you tired? Yes, reading about investing and what to do with the stocks I do own has been exhausting me. But it's also interesting to me and since "the market" seems to be leveling off a bit, I want to learn ways to make money in a downturn market.

But my investigations are mostly bringing to my attention that I really don't have much money. It's weird, because I feel like I'm doing pretty well, but...never seems like enough. I suppose I just need to be patient, but how long can I really do this? I mean, all of this? Teaching here...investing...and for what?

This lead me to the third thing I've been doing...thinking about the future. When I first came to Korea in 2009, I didn't bother thinking of the future and...things went pretty well that way. But about a year or so ago, that seemed to have run it's course. And ironically, things seem to have gotten worse and more stressful for me since I started thinking about the future. But I don't see any way around it. I know I can't work here (or work, period) the rest of my life. The time will come when I will need to live off of what I've saved up and/or invested in.

Yes, I know other people have it worse; they have nothing to live off, or they didn't (or aren't) planning anything, but I can't do anything for them. Still, though, this planning of mine is preoccupying too much of my life. It strikes me that others who plan less than me seem to have more in their life than I do. That's what I don't get.

But, like, if I don't plan anything, I appear aimless and without ambition. But if I plan, I have no life.

*sigh* Well, I keep thinking if I just get me room clean, the rest of my life will improve, too. Maybe I'll start there.

Oh, I'm also reading a few books, but maybe I'll talk about those later.

Some of my fav K-POP

This is not a review for these songs...just embedding a few that stood out that I like. Some of these I own on iTunes. I've writen a few notes under each clip. Please note that I heard all of these on the radio before I saw the videos...so just to let you know the videos had influence over me liking the songs.

I'm posting these because...when I came here in 2009, the music didn't really interest me much. But in the last year or less, Some songs started to stand out. Maybe I've just been here too long. But see what you think. Here they are:


"Pretty Pretty" by Ladies' Code. This lead singer (bleached hair) has a great voice. Her name is Sojeong. She won the competition on Korea's version of The Voice. This song...just stands out. It's of the old school genre. Not your tipical K-POP...not even usual for Spica. Make sure you listen past the intro. Ummm...not work safe. I didn't put the video up because this has the lyrics. The music is cool, the two lead vocals sound great together, and the backup vocals are cool. Does, as the title suggests, have the "F word". The novelty of this song here is that it gets played in cafes, family restaurants, and blasted out on the streets from cell phone shops. This song has a sweet sound to it. The title gets translated as "Not there" or "Nothing". "Gone" might be a better translation in this context, as in "the love is gone", or "it isn't there anymore". Drove me nuts when I couldn't find out what this song was. Herd it and instantly loved it. Even before I knew what the lyrics were, I sensed it had a feeling of moving on after a bad experience. And I wasn't far off. This has subtitles. Another song that stands out and doesn't sound like your typical K-POP. This is Rain. He was popular for a while, and then has to take two years hiatus from music to do his military service. Then he just comes back and puts this out and goes to the top of the charts. It's a catchy song, but what I really like about it is the way he implements a marching band for the baseline of the song. Anyway...enjoy.

Yahoo Finance article on job situation back in the US

I couldn't think of a good title for this post. Maybe I'll change it later, but anyway, saw this article on Yahoo Finance and thought that...well, I thought a couple things. One, I thought that I shouldn't complain that not everything is going the way I hoped here in K-land, and two, that maybe it's a bad time to bash on the idea of having dreams. 

Here's the article: Out of Work, Out of Benefits, and Running Out of Options

On the other hand...maybe I do have as much reason to be as frustrated as the person in the article (or those commenting on the article). I don't know. It hasn't helped me in the past to worry about how other people are managing with their lives...even if they were better off than me. I've just got to keep trying the best I can. Perhaps it behooves me to pursue a dream, even if it's never realized. 

In the meantime, it seems I'm doing alright here. I've just noticed my students aren't asking me anymore when I'm going home to the US. 

We'll, that's work. Now if I could get my life outside of work (and outside of financial planning) sorted out... Always seems part of what I need is always somewhere else, out of reach.

Better Picture of Samgyetang

Since I've got my iphone now, thought I'd put one of my own pictures of samgyetang up.

Now what?

Well, guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. Not sure what else I'm going to do. How much longer will I stay here? My school contract is for another year, but my phone contract is for two more years. (I...think I'll talk about the phone in my next post.)

In reflecting on my last post, I was wondering if I should have written something else, or not written anything and just let the pictures do the talking. Ever since I watched Storytelling, I've been apprehensive of trying to say something true about an experience...at least a deeply emotional one. I'm starting to think I'd be better off just not saying anything at all. The truth I find seems biased and disingenuous...and short-lived.

What I considered writing in the last post was something like, "We needed each other then, but not anymore." Would that have been more true? I don't know. Ummm...no. That sounds like the feeling was mutual. I didn't want to part with the tiger. But, whatever. My feeling or analysis doesn't change anything. So I don't want to talk about it.

Well, that can't be true. I wouldn't be writing this if I didn't want to talk about it. (Is writing talking? Sure it is. It's communicating the same ideas anyway.)

Why are people so bent on chasing dreams and ambitions at the expense of human relationships? Why do people feel like the person they're with is somehow preventing them from doing something more meaningful in their lives? Why don't they see the connection to that person as meaningful?

I've already seen the irony of dreams and ambitions back in Season...1 or 2 (not going to link the post but it was titled "Honesty and Direction". It's archived in the season archives under The Lost Posts). but people still take offense or take it as negative when I point out that dreams are meaningless. They're selfish ambitions that exclude others from our lives and are ultimately a waste of our time. (See? How does that not sound negative? Or...to put it another way, how can I make that sound positive? Stupid semantics obstructing what I want to communicate...)

I'm well on my way to achieving my dream...my goal. And as is predictable (ok, so I linked the post after all), people are impressed and interested. But I already know that when I achieve it, it won't matter.

I don't mean this in a depressing way. I'm laughing at the irony. I feel like I'm not supposed to figure all this out until I'm old and gray.

Parting ways

Cicumstances brought us together*....and circumstances pulled us apart.



* Referenced here.

Two! Two call options! Ah, ah, ahhhh!

That's, um, supposed to be like the Count, from Sesame Street.

*ahem* Anyway, yeah, sold another call option...yesterday. Yes, it was technically yesterday. Got in just in time with it as the stock jumped 24% toda...yesterday. The stock for the first call option I sold last week jumped 11% (also yesterday).

The options don't expire for another few months, but at this rate, I have a feeling I'll get assigned. My premium from selling the option will be pretty good, but my goodness, I might have done better just buying the stocks without the options. Oh, well. This was to get my feet wet with options, and I need the experience for my broker to give me higher level clearance with options. I'd rather buy options than sell them. I know other brokerage firms might not be so restrictive, but all in all, I like my broker.

Well, we'll see what happens with these.

Options

Hmm...seems too similar a title to my last post. But this is about trading options. I've been looking at these for a while and finally decided on selling covered call options on a relatively inexpensive stock so I can get my feet wet. I'm a day ahead here so I'll check tomorrow if the trade was executed. (Though, really, that date will be the same...so wanted to mark on my blog the day I first sold a covered call.)

Decisions

Reasons to stay in Korea

-          - samgyetang

-          - outdoorexercise machines

-          - no rent/mortgage

-          - health insurance

-          - don’t need a car

-          - UNIQLO (I know that sounds funny, but everything there fits and is cheap)

-          - a job that pays well, is fairly easy (or getting easier), and I enjoy

-          - can save a good amount of money each month

-          - I can afford a fairly comfortable life

Reasons to go back to the US

-          - family

-          - friends

-          - isolated here

The second list is shorter, but it certainly weighs on me. But there are certain realities that make (at least certain items on) the first list weigh in quite a bit, too. I simply don’t see any prospects for me back in the US. Staying in Korea affords me the possibility of retiring in about 10 years. To retire at 46 sounds like a decent prospect, but 10 years is still 10 years. I feel the same as I did in earlier seasons where planning for the future was easy, but what about the present?